


Contemplation

by whatsliferightnow



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Manipulation, Mental Instability, Non-Graphic Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, This is tags for part 1 and for what’s to come in part 2, Will add more if I continue it after that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:40:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29527221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsliferightnow/pseuds/whatsliferightnow
Summary: A quiet night at the docks of Gotham Harbor take an unexpected and violent turn.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Contemplation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heartracer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartracer/gifts).



It smells like dead fish. But I don’t mind it. It’s a small price to pay for the calm atmosphere I’m looking for when I come here. I welcome the sound of the waves hitting the concrete wall below me, the muffled noise of the city behind me. I close my eyes and breathe in the salty, fishy air that I’ve already grown used to. With my legs dangling over the side of the wall, I fall back onto the filthy asphalt ground. I really don’t have the energy to care anymore about how disgusting that should be. When I open my eyes, I’m hoping to see millions of stars in the vast black sky above me, but there’s almost nothing. The moon is shining over the water, I can see a planet glistening next to it, Venus, Jupiter, I have no idea. A few stars dimly shine, but the lights of the city drown them out, and I think about how much I miss home. How I would go out into the yard at night, turn off the front porch lights and look up, searching for the few constellations I know. Can’t find the big dipper now, huh?

Something off in the distance to my right disturbs my peaceful, quiet space. With annoyance prickling my brain, I turn my head and look. What I see sends terror twisting throughout my body, turning my heart to lead and freezing me to the ground where I lay, forcing me to just stay there and watch what’s unfolding in front of me. From my skewed horizontal point of view, I see two silhouettes. I can hardly see, but I’m pretty sure one of them has a knife. He’s advancing on the other one, slowly walking toward the edge of the dock. The other one is stumbling backward, pleading with the attacker, trying to put distance between the two of them. But his back reaches the railing at the edge, where the concrete drops to meet the water below and he has nowhere else to go. The man with the knife closes in on him, he’s taller but he’s hunching down to the other one’s level. His arms stretch out in front of him, grabbing him by the neck in one hand and sinking his knife into his victim’s torso with the other.

I stay silent. I’m terrified and I want to run, but I know I can’t. If I move, he’ll notice me- I’m only a short distance away. All I can do is force myself to not make a sound, holding my breath for fear he’ll hear me exhaling. What feels like minutes have gone by and he’s still standing there, holding this guy up by his neck. I can hear choking noises coming from the victim, but why? He was stabbed, he didn’t have his throat cut or anything like that. Is the killer also strangling him with the hold around his neck? How has the guy not bled out by now? I lay there pondering questions about a murder I’m witnessing as if I’m watching it happen on TV, but also wondering how much longer I have to sit here until he leaves, hopefully without looking off to his left and seeing me.

Finally, something happens. He removes his knife from the guy’s stomach and he simply pushes him over the railing. He must be dead now. His limp body falls the few feet down and splashes in the water below. The killer steps up to the railing and looks down for a moment, before he takes in his surroundings. He looks out over the water, then scans the docks. I knew it would happen; he looks to his left. A cry of fear threatens to rise up out of my throat as he looks in my direction. I still can’t see his face, but I know he’s looking right at me. This is it then, I’m going to die. I’m going to die at the shipping docks, thrown into the water like his other victim, and no one will know what happened.

It’s ironic and I’d almost think it was funny if it weren’t so real. Ten minutes ago, I sat here at the edge of the water, contemplating whether or not I should let myself fall in and never come back up. I couldn’t make myself do it. And now, there’s a murderer slowly coming toward me that’s going to end it all for me. Now that it’s out of my control, I’m not sure if I want it to happen, but it doesn’t matter now. I have no choice in the matter anymore. I guess I just hope he doesn’t make it too painful.

I’m watching him saunter toward me. My heart is beating out of control and I wish it would just stop already. I still can’t run, but I can move. Without taking my eyes off him, I sit up, bring my legs back up over the edge onto the concrete below me, and face him. I can see more of him now and god, I’d give anything to not be there now. I recognize him from the news. His face paint is unmistakable. His long trench coat billows around his legs and I stop to wonder why he wears it. It’s summer and although it’s the middle of the night, it’s still warm enough for me to only need a thin jacket. He must be sweating his ass off in that thing.

He’s reached me now, and all I can do is stare up at him. He can probably smell the fear coming off of me, and if not, he can definitely see it written on my face. I can start to feel tears gathering in my eyes, almost ready to spill over onto my cheeks. I’m trying to swallow down my fear as I look up into his face, studying the poorly healed scars stretching from the corners of his mouth up to the middle of his cheeks on each side. He’ s looking down at me, must be assessing me, trying to figure out how to kill his newest victim. A defenseless young woman who’s half his size, it won’t be hard for him.

How long have we been here staring at each other like this? Why hasn’t he attacked me yet? Is he waiting for me to try to run away, scream, or what? What do I do?

The only thing I can do in this moment is open my mouth, feeling as if I should say something, though I have no idea what. Before I have the chance, however, he does what I least expect him to; he crouches down right in front of me, leveling his piercing gaze with my own terrified one.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, a friend of mine convinced me to try my hand at writing soo, I wrote this small little fic about our favorite evil clown. It's my first real attempt at writing a fic, anddd I do plan on probably writing a second part to it! So let me know what you think, I'd love some feedback and will take some concrit if you've got it! Thanks!


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